I don't need you anymore
by JackOfBladesX
Summary: After seventeen years, Naruto's parents return to Konoha, with his twin sister. HIs reaction to his parents being alive after so long? Complete Apathy. In Naruto's defense, he really had a lot going on that day. Naruto/Shion/OC/OC.OneShot. Humor Fic.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.**

**A/N: I have TWO OCs (twins) in this story. Since I normally suck at making up original characters (physical appearances that is) I'm just imagining them both to look like the character "Yuki" from the anime/manga ****Vampire Knights**_**.**_** If it helps at all, go ahead and google her to get an idea of what she looks like.**

* * *

**Story: I Don't Need You Anymore.**

Tsunade stared at the four figures in front of her with more than a fair amount of reservation. She cast quick glance at Kakashi Hatake, who stood in the corner with a sober look on his face, and Neji Hyuuga, who stood opposite of Kakashi. The moment these people appeared in her office, she immediately summoned Kakashi and the closest Hyuuga available, which happened to be Neji who was in the tower at the time, to her office for a confirmation.

They both gave a small nod, something that wouldn't even be noticeable to anyone but the most seasoned ninja.

Tsunade sat back in her chair, though it wasn't to relax. It was in hopes of fighting off the on coming headache. To think something like…_this_ was going on the entire time was nothing short of inconceivable. And hilarious, really. If it weren't for the identity of three of the figures before her, she would break out laughing at the irony of the whole situation.

"Well…how is he?" asked the oldest of the female figure. A hint of desperation in her voice.

In truth, Tsunade wanted to bite back at her and deny her request for information…but knew it wasn't her decision. Let _him_ make that decision.

"You can ask him yourself", she couldn't stop the small amount of venom that traced her words, but she truly didn't care at this point. She turned back towards the oldest of the figures. "Ummm…grandfather…"

Hashirama nodded at his granddaughter.

"Even if you don't plan on staying, it would probably be best if you rest at the Hokage's estate, the old Senju compound. Shizune-" Tsunade began, turning towards her long time attendant and friend. The woman stepped forward and nodded, "-please take my grandfather to my residence."

Old, ninety odd years old to be exact, Hashirama got up from his seat, feeling his old bones ache, and turned to follow the young black haired girl out of the room.

Tsunade then turned back towards the three occupants. "Well, I suppose it would be best to bring you by his apartment to talk to him immediately."

"Actually, I think it might be best if we talked to him here", replied the sole male figure. Everyone ignored a slight scoff Kakashi let out. Tsunade could see the wisdom in the man's words. The Hokage's office was neutral territory, all things considered. It would be better for the _newcomers_ if they did speak within the Hokage's office. Tsunade didn't give a damn though.

"Is that what you really think?" She asked in a neutral tone. Seeing the blonde man nod made Tsunade smile. "I disagree." His face fell. "I think, considering the situation, the best idea would be to make sure _he_ is as comfortable as possible. Do you agree? Good!" Tsunade finished before giving the man a chance to answer, all the while making it clear that she neither expected, nor want one. Tsunade got up and with a gesture dismissed both Kakashi and Neji, the former leaving a little more quickly than he usually did.

Tsunade then gestured the three to follow. She left the through door…followed closely by: Minato Namikaze, Kushina Uzumaki, and Natsuko Namikaze.

* * *

-x-

Naruto was in heaven.

That's the only word he could think of to describe his situation at the moment, sandwiched between the two buxom sisters, both whom were about his age. They were the identical twin sisters: Kasumi and Ayumi Hikari.

The sisters were the last of a clan, the Hikari clan, which used to inhabit Demon Country. The clan was apparently famous for multiple kinds of chakra-draining techniques, many which you didn't need to be in direct contact with your opponent…Naruto jokingly called them _chakra-vampires_. On a somewhat lesser scale, they were also known for bloodlimit in which they used chakra to increase their attributes to a radical extreme. While it wasn't a 'Tsunade powered chakra fist'-extreme, they were still pretty powerful, even civilians of the clans tended to be strong/fast enough to match most run-of-the-mill ninja, which unfortunately didn't mean much without combat experience or enough chakra to use the techniques properly. It was for these reasons that the clan was hunted down to extinction…or to the brink of extinction at least. Having a clan around that not only stole your chakra but used it to heighten their physical attributes was…inconvenient to some villages.

He had met them on a solo mission to Sea Country. Apparently, the twins and Naruto, were all hired to do the same mission from different people of the same village. Noting how desperate they must have been, Kasumi had managed to arrange for both groups to work together, as long as the village paid both their wages. It had been a short discussion. Thought the actual mission had taken slightly longer, the trio had come back with a flawless victory. The next thing the blond knew, he was invited back to the girls' hotel room for a little _after_ _mission celebration_, as they called it. Naruto didn't _quite_ understand what they had in mind at first. That all changed when he felt Ayumi begin kissing the back of his neck, using her hands to message his shoulders. At that point, the proverbial light bulb went off in Naruto's head. All traces of doubt escaped him when Kasumi unbuttoned his jacket, lifted his shirt up, and began trailing her tongue around his naval.

The ministrations on their chosen areas continued for some time, the girls continuously alternating between kissing, licking, and nibbling. It would be another five minutes before Kasumi fell on her bottom, panting as hard as she could, as if she were trying to catch her breath. Before he could ask her if she was all right, Ayumi fell as well. As the twins continued panting, both girls tiredly looked up at the blond, staring at him in utter shock. As the moments went on, their chakra began to fluctuate, as if they were releasing chakra from there bodies…something that had Naruto on edge. After a few moments, it was Kasumi who managed to regain some semblance of her original composure. "How are you still standing?"

Naruto blinked at her, "What?"

"The amount of chakra we drained from you was enormous, it should have left you drained and unconscious!"

"You were draining chakra from me?" the blond asked with more than a little indignation. In truth, he hadn't even noticed. The following conversation depressed him somewhat. After all, during their two and a half years together, Jiraiya always mentioned one thing about relationships…and that was that your first threesome was very special, and that he should enjoy it. Though he didn't quite understand the statement until a few moments ago.

They admitted that they had planned on stealing his chakra before skipping out on him. Smartly, they avoided mentioning the fact that they were also planning on skipping out on the hotel bill and possibly stealing any money he had on him. After their confession, Naruto, still a little annoyed, explained to them that he happened to have a humongous amount of chakra reserves, which only grew after his Sage training and after the death of the Kyuubi. He then explained that if they WERE taking chakra from him, then they probably didn't steal enough for him to actually notice it. It was true really, even now, he didn't notice that any of his chakra was gone…and it seemed that whatever they stole was enough to fill the girls up.

Staring at him wide eye, the two girls began whispering amongst themselves before bowing to Naruto, noses on the ground. They then begged for forgiveness and asked him to make them his mistresses.

Apparently the girls were planning on resurrecting their clans after obtaining enough resources – money, supplies, a safe haven, etc. They would find a male(s), impregnate themselves and begin the arduous process. Whether they joined a Hidden Village or not was still undecided at that point. Whether they would marry the father of their children was ALSO undecided. However, that changed when they found Naruto. After all, with all their chakra-intensive clan techniques, what better man to father their children than a man with enormous chakra reserves? They would probably be forced to join Konoha, but so be it…that village always did seem to favor Clans with secret techniques and bloodlines.

At first, Naruto quickly refused the two, but he decided to give it some actual thought, when they gave him a reason to. The following night, the room was filled with cries of,

"Naruto-sama's chakra is humongous."

And

"Naruto-sama's chakra is so tasty."

(Note: Neither of the twins is actually talking about chakra here)

In the end, Naruto decided to take them back to his village. Though he had no intention of fathering **another** child with more women who just wanted him for his genes, they did want to speak with Tsunade about possibly joining Konoha. Though, he made them promise, they wouldn't try to jump him again, to which they both sadly agreed. On their way back, they began talking and actually found out that they a have a lot in common. Seems the twins were outcasts of their clan, their mother was neither a member of the Hikari clan, or even from the same country. Though not on the level of the stigma that followed Naruto throughout his early years, it still was an unpleasant experience. They fought back by playing pranks on some of the other children, a few of which nearly had Naruto rolling on the ground in laughter. He told them some of the pranks he pulled as well, including his infamous one where he painted the Hokage monument. They had a wicked sense of humor that agreed with the young blonde and they were beginning to become attracted to both his innocence and his kindness…funny considering that he was regarded as a demon for most of his life.

By the time they got to Konoha, Naruto had a bit of a crush on the sisters and they had completely fallen for him in a way that went beyond their initial lust. Which explained their current position.

* * *

But not that annoying knocking on the door, all three members groaned. They had been hoping that annoying knock would go away, but whoever was on the other side persisted. That meant that the person knocking on the door was either: a chakra sensor or someone who possessed a Byakugan. That, or maybe they knew for sure that he was home. Either way Naruto, in an obvious annoyed fashion, untangled himself from the girls, whom were also disgruntled, and got up.

Though neither girl wanted to revive their clan yet, both feeling they were too young, that didn't stop either of them from doing libidinous activities. And Naruto, though he wasn't sure how far his crush/feelings for the girls went, was still a guy…a teenager at that. So if they wanted to project their sexual desires upon him, who was he to argue.

Naruto, still naked as the day he was born, began walking towards his front door. Grabbing something from a nearby table, he silently opened the door and placed the item on the outside doorknob before slamming the front door shut.

* * *

-x- outside –x-

Tsunade seethed at what Naruto just did. The four had gotten to his apartment a little over two minutes ago and had been knocking since. Just when she was about to knock the door down Naruto opened the damn thing, placed a sign on the door, and slammed the door in their faces. She looked at the sign several times.

"Do not disturb!"

From his position, Minato blinked at the sign. He looked towards both his wife and daughter, both who sported annoyed looks on their faces.

"Oh, fuck no!" Tsunade spat before cocking her fist back. She smashed her fist into the wood, slamming the door open and nearly sending it off it's hinges. She walked in to see a surprised Naruto…a surprise and naked Naruto…a surprised, naked, and aroused Naruto. Now it was her turn to be surprised. 'So that's why Shizune was always so bashful the days she was set to give Naruto a _full-_body exam', she thought glumly. She knew the boy was in their, being able to sense the boy's chakra within the apartment, as well as the charkas of two other people. She _had_ assumed he was being too lazy to open the door or perhaps he was having a personal talk that he didn't want interrupted. Nothing that in her opinion, based on who she had been talking to for the last hour or so, couldn't be rescheduled to a later time. If she realized she would be, as Jiraiya always put it, _cock-blocking_ the poor boy, she would have come back at a later time. Then again, this could turn out more than a little entertaining.

She ushered the three into the boy's apartment, where they froze in shock, before going to sit down in Naruto's recliner, placing her feet on the coffee table in front of her. "You may want to get dressed."

Naruto glanced at the people in front of him, taking note of the male figure in particular before shrugging and turning back to go to his room. Apparently the boy didn't have any modesty when it came to that type of thing. 'And for good reason', Tsunade thought with a slight perverted smile on her face. After a few moments, the three got over their shock and turned back towards Tsunade. She gestured for them to sit down in Naruto's couch to her right, which was also adjacent to the coffee table, which could comfortably sit three people. Naruto eventually came back, wearing orange pants and a plain white t-shirt. Tsunade noted that those two girls, that he had brought home over three weeks ago, followed him. Deep down, she hoped that they turned out to be sincere in their desires to join their village…and their desires for Naruto. She realized when they first joined that they could be spies for another village or even assassins targeting Naruto, or both. But after thinking about it…she decided against both counts. If they wanted Naruto dead, they would have gotten to him before they reached the village, and definitely not waited until he was already here. They also couldn't be spies; the only villages that would DARE to pull something of this nature belonged to the major five. Iwa and Kumo were both responsible for their clan's destruction, amongst other things; and both Kiri and Suna were their allies. She also had Ibiki debrief them, which was essentially the same thing he usually did with prisoners, except he didn't torture the two girls.

Either way, with approval from the Clan's Council, she offered them multiple _packages_ if they agreed to reform their clan in Konoha; various privileges and other things that they'd be utter fools to turn down. That, and the protection that Konoha could provide to them and their heirs. She honestly didn't believe they'd refuse. After they got off their probation period, they would be good to join the shinobi forces and eventually petition to become an actual clan, after one of them produced an heir. Though, considering there general attitude, they'd probably BOTH birth an heir at roughly the same time…'poor' Naruto.

Naruto sat down to Tsunade's left, on his loveseat, which was also adjacent to the coffee table. One of the girl's, Ayumi, Tsunade believed, plopped down on the boy's left before curling up in Naruto's lap, resting her head on his right leg. Kasumi sat on his right side, resting her head on his shoulder.

Oh…and they were both only wearing black lingerie, which Minato _tried_ not to observed…but secretly was very proud of his son. 'Maybe his life went well after all.' Unfortunately, neither Kushina nor Natsuko were amused…both for different reasons. The moment the two brunettes walked into the room Kushina began to seethe at their bravado.

"Do you think you two could go put some actual clothes on?"

"Nope", was their reply. It was Ayumi that continued though, "After you people stop bothering us", her tone of voice announced just how annoyed she really was, "we plan to get back to what we were doing before hand." Chuckling slightly, Naruto grabbed her hand to prevent her from rubbing his whisker-marks. It was always a ticklish spot for him.

Kushina definitely didn't take it well.

"Naruto…" Tsunade quickly began, hoping to change the subject to what they were here to talk about. "These people want to talk to you." She sent a withering glare towards Minato, believing that he was the one who would be speaking. She was right.

Minato coughed slightly, getting everyone's attention. "Naruto…I don't know how to tell you this but…we're-"

"Naruto!" The door slammed open, as a blonde girl walked in.

Naruto's eyes widened, "Shion!"

Her purple eyes glared at the two girls who were surrounding the blonde. "She was right, these two…these two HUSSIES are trying to seduce you!" she spat.

"HEY!" both girls, the twins, replied in outrage, getting up from their _seat_.

There were so many things wrong with her statement, but in the end Naruto chose to concentrate on the first word she uttered, "She?"

It was at that point that Sakura walked in, flipping her pink hair over her shoulder and smirking at the blonde from behind Shion. "I'm sorry Naruto, but I told them everything."

If he had been in the right state of mind, Naruto would have caught that she said, _them_ and not _her_. Unfortunately, he was currently concentrated in what was in front of him. And that was that Sakura was finally getting her revenge. _"You bitch!",_ he spitefully mouthed out silently.

To which she merely smirked back.

'Note to self, never putting itching powder in Sakura's underwear drawer.' Apparently, the girl was stuck in meeting after meeting after meeting with no opportunity to excuse herself. So she was stuck there, trying not to squirm or look uncomfortable to the itch that was spread to her…parts from the tight pink thong she wore. She was apparently stuck in the meeting for three hours, the powder taking affect about five minutes after the meeting began. When she found out it was a practical joke from Naruto, she was _pissed_ beyond reason and had sworn vengeance. Apparently, she took it as a declaration of war.

She pouted at Naruto as she walked towards him, "This looks really personal, perhaps I should come back later", Sakura said, though only Naruto, Tsunade, and perhaps one or two of his strange guests heard her. Either way, upon saying that, she walked into Naruto's dining room and began dragging a seat over to Naruto's love seat. She then sat down, before giving him a wink, which the blonde returned with an annoyed scowl. Resting her chin in her hands, she watched the scene before her.

'Personal my ass. You wouldn't be here if it was personal, now would you?' The blonde wanted to growl. The answer was obvious, so he didn't see any reason to actually ask it.

Shion looked at Naruto in outrage, "Naruto! Snap out of it, think of our daughter!"

"Daughter?" three voices in the room snapped.

"He's going to have children with us", Kasumi replied. They already knew about Naruto's five-month-old daughter, and frankly neither of them had any issues with it. He went to visit her every weekend that he wasn't on a mission after all, he mentioned this to them one day when he left the village. Being one of the fastest men alive definitely had its advantages, advantages like traveling to Demon Country and back in a little over an hour.

"You two are trying to rape, Naruto-kun!" Shion snapped.

"We are not!" Ayumi spat back.

Naruto opened his mouth to try to calm the girls down, but got a soft kick from Tsunade. Upon turning towards the older woman, she quickly shook her head, telling him to not get involved in their catfight. She knew, from experience, it's best to allow them to calm down before he attempted to talk to them. Kami only knows how long that would take.

* * *

To summarize what happened over the next thirty minutes while Tsunade, Naruto, Sakura, and Tsunade's guests tried to stay out of the ensuing argument…

-x- five minutes later –x-

"I don't know what he was thinking back then, but Naruto-sama is obviously doing better than you." (Kasumi)

"Seems like it takes **two** of you, to even equal one of me." (Shion)

"HEY!" (Ayumi)

-x- five minutes later –x-

"Take that back!" (Shion)

"It's true, if you two aren't together, then it's obviously because he didn't enjoy sleeping with you." (Ayumi)

"We had **distance** issues, not issues in **bed**. Besides, the Fire Daiymo offered me asylum here in Fire Country, so…as of three days ago, the distance is no longer an issue!" (Shion)

-x- five minutes later –x-

"Why would he want either of you, you're both so plain looking." (Shion)

Both girls' glowered at that. "At least we're not flat." (Kasumi)

Shion growled, "I'm NOT FLAT!"

"Yea huh!" (Ayumi)

"Are not!" (Shion)

"Yea you are." (Kasumi)

Shion growled before grabbing the front of the robe she was wearing. In one swift motion, she ripped it open, showing that: 1. She was actually much bigger than either of the twins – she was actually catching up to Tsunade - and 2. She wasn't wearing a bra.

The twins, and everyone else, stared at Shion in utter shock…and jealousy in the case of the other four young women. "Pretty…" (the twins)

Shion smirked, "The priestess' robes I'm forced to wear act as chest bindings."

-x- five minutes later –x-

"-sniff- So he protected you, even though everyone fully expected you to die fulfilling your duty." (Kasumi)

"Yes –sniff-. I gave up and fully expected to die, but Naruto came through in the end and not only saved me but also destroyed the evil demon –sniff-. And despite the fact that I was so awful to him, he never gave up on me." (Shion)

"Naruto-sama is so cool. I really hope he agrees to father my children." (Ayumi)

-x- five minutes later –x-

"Shion-hime I'd like to be frank with you, ever since you exposed yourself to us I've been wanting to suckle on your light-chakra." (Kasumi)

Shion blushed at that, "Oh…I see."

"Mm-hm, I've definitely been wanting to taste your priestly energies, if you would let us." (Ayumi)

(Note: Neither of the twins is actually talking about chakra here)

"Alright…but I wish to invite Naruto-kun." (Shion)

"-sigh- Unfortunately, Naruto-sama is going to be busy with some stupid meeting." (Kasumi)

"We…_could_ tell him to meet up at _our_ place after he's done, our apartment isn't too far away." (Ayumi)

"Agreed" (Shion and Kasumi)

* * *

-x- five minutes later –x-

The door slammed shut, leaving six very confused people.

Naruto, blushing at the possibilities, turned towards Tsunade with a raised eyebrow, "I'm confused. What the hell just happened?"

Tsunaded blinked, finally coming out of her stupor, "You allowed a problem to fix itself, and it did so in a way that would **never** happen under normal circumstances", was Tsunade's only reply. 'Seems every girl that is NOT from this village is head over heels for Naruto…they're even willing to share.'

"Oh…" Naruto had remembered hearing something about a certain Religion. Apparently, when a person dies, they go to heaven and continue to look out for their loved ones. Though he thought it sounded ridiculous at the time, what just happened definitely felt like Jiraiya was looking out for him, really. The Jinchuuriki then turned towards Sakura, grinning at her, "Since your plan backfired, I'm still one up on you."

Sakura glared at Naruto, "Mark my words, I WILL get you back." She got up and stomped over to the door. "This isn't the only trick I have up my sleeve." She opened it and then slammed it shut behind her. 'Stupid Icha Icha plotline carrying over to the real world' was her last thought before stomping off.

The blonde sighed, before turned back towards Tsunade, "Can I leave now." He really wanted to meet up with the girls. Upon hearing his statement, Minato's and Kushina's eyes widened. They had both wanted to be with their son ever since they first abandoned him.

"Nope", they both let go a breath that they didn't know they were holding. "You don't get out of a meeting just because there's something infinitely more enjoyable for you to do." This time they both glared at Tsunade, clearly offended. "It's just another thing you'll have to deal with if you want to be Hokage."

Naruto frowned at that, "You want to hear something ironic." Tsunade nodded. "I've been praying to meet my parents", he nodded his head towards the Yondaime's group, "ever since I could remember." Both Minato's and Kushina's eyes widened at that proclamation. "Now, when it finally occurs, I'm annoyed to find out that it's the one thing that's keeping me away from a foursome with three really hot girls. That's just freaking annoying."

Tsunade shrugged, "Yea well, hindsight's twenty-twenty."

"You knew we were your family?" Minato asked. That couldn't be right. Tsunade didn't know until just recently, and they had sworn both Jiraiya and Hiruzen to secrecy. 'Did they break their promise?'

"A _replica_ of you was imprinted on the inside of the seal. It helped me out when I needed it and fed me some info to boot."

Minato frowned. He hadn't remembered adding such a function to the seal…though contrary to popular belief he hadn't been the _only_ writer of the seal used. He had actually taken something that he could only assume was ancient and made some modifications to it.

"Anyway, it mentioned that _you_ were my father and well…I kinda just assumed that I was related to the other two." Naruto rubbed his chin. "Probably shouldn't have made that assumption, but you just confirmed I was correct."

Minato had the decency to look sheepish. He just gave away information that Naruto didn't actually have. Though it didn't really matter in this setting, it wasn't something a Kage should normally allow them self to do.

"So what do you want?"

"What do you mean?" Kushina asked.

"I'm assuming you wanted something, you couldn't have just come back after seventeen years to meet the son you two abandoned, did you?"

Silence was his only answer.

"Wow…really?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. Sure, ten years ago, five years ago, hell even two years, he'd be jumping for joy at finding out he was sitting in front of his parents were. Finding out now? Seemed kinda… **Ehhh**.Then there were the girls he was suppose to be spending time with…right about now.

"Naruto…" Minato began. He had hoped this would be easy…really really hoped, unfortunately, it seemed like it would be the exact opposite. "Since you already know my name, why don't I introduce you to your mother and sister."

The blonde shrugged, "Why not."

"Umm…well your mother" he gestured towards the older red head, "Is Kushina Uzumaki. And your little sister", he gestured towards the girl that seemed to be about his age, "Is Natsuko."

"Hi…" he waved lazily.

Kushina gestured weakly, suddenly feeling a little weak in the stomach. Natsuko seemed angry for some reason. "Naruto…" Minato began again. "You need to understand, there's a reason we left you here."

Naruto sighed, "This ought to be good." 'And incredibly long.'

Ignoring the sarcasm, Minato continued, "You see Naruto, there was this plan-"

"NARUTO-KUN!" the door once again slammed open, allowing two more women into his apartment. The blonde sighed. Unlike the first three, and to a much lesser extent Sakura - especially after that stunt she pulled - he definitely was annoyed in seeing these two.

Mostly because he thought the two were just bat shit crazy.

"Hi…Ino…Karin." 'Hmmm, so that was Sakura's plan B."

* * *

-x- Thirty awkward minutes later –x-

"Alright, please enjoy your afternoon, good bye." He slammed the door shut, after Ino and Karin walked out. "I need to get a guard dog or something…" Naruto frowned as he turned back towards his other four guests. "People keep letting themselves into my apartment and it's starting to become freaking annoying", he stated. 'And depressing', he thought thinking of all the time he wasted, which could have been spent with Shion, Kasumi, and Ayumi.

Tsunade glared at Naruto, a vein ticking above her right eye, "I assume you mean, present company excluded."

The jinchuuriki blinked, "Yea sure."

'I'm going to let that one go…this time', Tsunade thought with a huff.

Naruto went back to sit down in his loveseat, in front of his _family_. He began looking towards Minato, "So you were saying something about a plan."

"Yea well, it's part of the reason we're here."

"And the reason we're wasting time." Natsuko got up as she stood in front of Naruto, anger written all over her face. "Tell us what really happened to Madara!"

The blonde raised an eyebrow, 'Madara?'

"I told you Madara is dead!" Tsunade snapped. "My grandf…your leader even confirmed it."

"Natsuko, calm down." Kushina ordered.

"I don't believe you!" she replied, ignoring Kushina. "And leader-sama could be wrong, it's not unreasonable that Madara finally found a way to cloak himself from him."

"Natsuko!" Minato admonished, "We don't know the whole situation, so _don't_ call Tsunade a liar."

Tsunade looked about ready to show the girl why her strength was legendary, unfortunately Natsuko didn't seem to notice. "She doesn't have to be _lying_. She admitted that **Naruto-**" she spat his name out with more than a little venom in her voice "-had gone with four others to try out some half assed plan to combat Madara. They probably failed and he could just be lying to receive credit for killing Madara."

"NATSUKO!"

"He could even be under Madara's control."

SLAP

The resounding contact of flesh upon flesh echoed across the room. In shock, Natsuko turned towards the angry Tsunade in more than a little fear. Minato got up and put his hand on the girl's shoulder, forcing her to sit down.

When the girl finally sat down, there was an awkward silence for a while. Tsunade kept giving the girl a dark look, which Natsuko was doing a great job in avoiding, before she finally sat down as well.

Naruto blinked, "What does this have to do with Madara?"

Tsunade, finally taking her eyes off of Natsuko, turned towards the blonde to answer the question, "Naruto your…these people are a part of an organization that has dedicated themselves, for the last five decades, to destroying Madara Uchiha."

"Wow…really?" Naruto said with a raised eyebrow. "I'd known about him for like a month before I helped Kirabi take him out."

"Some of _us_…find that hard to believe, Naruto-kun." Kushina began. "Ever since leader-sama found out that Madara was still alive, he's been trying to kill the man, but Madara survived every attempt on his life…only to cause more devastation each time. He recruited many people in his crusade, ourselves included." She gestured towards herself and her husband. "It's the reason we had to leave you and separate you from your sister." She said sadly. "We need you to go over what happened in _your_ battle with Madara, especially your part in it."

Naruto's eyes widened. It wasn't his plan and he barely did any fighting. It was conceived with barely any input or back up from the shinobi villages belonging to the alliance. His teammates consisted of: Kirabi (the leader/planner), Shion (his partner), Gaara, Kakashi, Tenzo, and Sai (the posse).

While the alliance was fighting off Madara's 'zombie' army, the six went for Madara directly. Kakashi teamed up with Tenzo to fight off the regenerated Kisame, barely managing to kill the shark man with Kakashi's **Raikiri**. Gaara and Sai fought off Zetsu, whom unveiled a hidden power that he hadn't used at the Kage summit. Sai was knocked to the side, unconscious and the Kazekage wouldn't have survived the encounter, if not for the timely assistance of Konan. While Gaara swallowed up all the surrounding trees with his sand, and by extension Zetsu's only means of escape, Konan used a cyclone of paper to slice the man to pieces.

Naruto actually didn't have a combat role in the actual plan. Naruto, would later go on to kill Kabuto (or Kabutomaru/Orobuto, as the boy constantly called him) and take out Sasuke. But that actually occurred sometime later, after Madara was already dead. He felt he could mention the two of them, but all in all, THE TWO OF THEM ARE COMPLETELY USELESS TO THE PLOT AND ONLY SERVE TO ADD SOME VILLAINS ON MADARA'S SIDE. So he decided not to mention them

Kirabi went after Madara, whom had already absorbed the power of the other seven Bijuu himself.

Kirabi's plan was to summon the same power the Sage of Six Paths used to separate the Jyuubi in the first place. The power was a perfect fusion of Nature chakra, Demonic chakra, and Light chakra (all three which the Sage possessed in one way or another). He wanted to harvest the fusion of the three energies and use it to kill the intangible man.

Three people possessed the necessary energies. Shion was the last person to possess the light chakra. Naruto possessed both Demon chakra and the ability to harvest Nature chakra (not to mention he could use both at the same time). While Kirabi also had Demon chakra, he needed to be available to fight Madara…so he couldn't be part of the fusion process.

Things were apparently easier with the Sage of Six Paths. Since it was he who possessed the three chakra types, he could use it on his own in an actual fight. Unfortunately, Naruto and Shion, whom had the three charkas between them, couldn't combine the charkas completely…unless…

* * *

-x- flashback –x-

"You want us to what?" Both Naruto and Shion were beat red.

"Get down and dirty, so Madara can go the way of the blue-footed booby!"

Naruto blinked, "What?" That didn't make any sense.

Gaara turned towards Kirabi, "The blue-footed booby isn't extinct."

"Really?"

The Kazekage just nodded. Gaara then nudged Naruto, "He's saying that the only way to kill Madara is for you two to fuse the three powers. And the only way for you two to fuse the three powers together, is for the two of you to have sex." Upon hearing the Kazekage's statement, Kirabi nodded and gave a thumbs up.

The blond gave the man a hard look. The idea was ludicrous. Combine the three chakra types by having…sex…with Shion – Naruto took a moment to blush at the prospect – and use a special seal that would allow that same power to go to Kirabi for the remainder of the battle. Not only did it seem ridiculous, but he was completely positive that Shion would never agree. 'There's no way in hell!'

"I'll do it."

The blond snapped his head in Shion's direction, giving her a stunned look.

The blonde priestess turned towards Naruto, a slight blush on her cheeks, and gave him a hard look, "But I have a demand, if I'm to take part in this ridiculous plan."

"What is it?" Gaara asked. Though he wasn't completely sure he believed in this plan, despite Kirabi's evidence, they really didn't have much more to go on. Madara had the power of Seven Bijuu after all. The combine number of twenty-eight tails of chakra.

Still looking at Naruto, Shion replied, "You refused me once before, but if you want me to take part in this…plan, you won't refuse me again. If I take part in this plan", she then gave Naruto a sharp look, "You have to promise to father my child."

"He accepts!" the reply came from: Kirabi, Gaara, Kakashi, Tenzo, Sai…basically all the males in the room, sans Naruto.

Upon realizing this fact, he took a moment to glare at his fellow ninja, "This isn't your decision to agree to!"

"That is my ultimatum", Shion said, rising from her seat. "Take it or leave it." Those were her last words before she left the room.

-x- end flashback –x-

* * *

Obviously, he did agree to her demands at the end. Naruto and Shion, for just an instance, combined perfectly combined the three forms of chakra together. Kirabi, about a hundred miles away, used the seal to absorb the released power and kill Madara once and for all. And then Naruto and Shion had lots and lots of sex.

"Well?" Minato asked, leaning forward a little.

The blond repressed a sigh, 'How the hell am I suppose to tell them that my part in the plan was to have sex with a beautiful blonde priestess.' He looked up at Minato, looking him straight in the eye. "My part in the plan was to have sex with a beautiful blonde priestess."

Minato, Kushina, and Natsuko all blinked at his declaration, clearly confused. Though it was Minato who voiced out their question, "I'm sorry, what?"

"Well…"

"NARUTO!" His door slammed open once again. Kiba quickly leapt in and walked a few steps inside. "Dude, drop everything your doing and come with me. There's a wet T-shirt contest going on a few blocks down."

The blond perked up at that, "Really?"

"Yea dude, and that's not the best part. Half of these girls are from other villages. There's definitely a chance to get some out of town strange, before they gotta go back home." Seemingly oblivious to the killer intent, from the three different women in the room, Kiba just smiled at Naruto, waiting for young man's reply. The two of them had hung out a lot more, since the Fourth Shinobi War ended.

"Sureeee-" Before continuing his reply, he glanced at his family, before sighing, "-actually I'm going to have to take a rain check."

Kiba did a double take. He decided then and there that he wouldn't be taking no as an answer. After all the crap the blond went through: Sasuke, the Akatsuki, Kiba spreading those nasty rumors that Naruto and Sasuke were secretly gay lovers; the Inuzuka felt that he needed to help his naive friend. He would educate the blond on the glories of wet t-shirt contests and out of town strange. "Naruto I don't think your getting me. Out of town strange, wet t-shirt contest", the killer intent magnified. "Not only do we get to be judges in the contest, but we get to have a night of fun with some random girl and we don't even need to see them again the next day…cause they'll be forced to leave the village. It's like, the perfect relationship." He then, for the first time, took a look around the room and noticed Naruto's companions. Or Natsuko, to be more specific. "Hey…you from outta town?"

* * *

-x-

After Kiba was introduced to Kushina's fist, and a kick to the groin, he was violently thrown out the door.

Minato turned back to Naruto, "You were saying?"

The blond, former, Jinchuuriki shrugged, "I already said what I wanted to say."

Kushina frowned, "You weren't very clear."

The teenage blond shrugged at them both, "Neither were you."

The blond, former kage, frowned "You're right. When we left the village, we dropped Natsuko off in Whirlpool Country; we left her with your mother's parents. We then traveled throughout different countries…wherever our leader had us go. When Natsuko was ten, we took her grandparents home…"

"And away from all of my friends" the girl said bitterly.

He, smartly, left out the part where they snuck away as much time as they could to spend with Natsuko. It wasn't that they preferred the girl, or anything that simple, though they were aware that it certainly looked that way. But simply, they could freely move through Whirlpool Country with little to no consequence. They couldn't do the same in Konoha. One mistake, and they would be revealed to be still alive…which could cause MANY problems for them and their group.

"…and we began training her."

"Out of curiosity, why did you leave me in Konoha and take her away."

Minato frowned; this was actually going to be the hardest part to tell. "To be honest…because we needed to keep you in _plain_ _sight_, so to speak. We knew that Madara would be keeping tabs on the Bijuu, he had various methods to sense them after all. If we kept you close to us…it would have jeopardized not only what we were doing, but also an organization that has kept itself, and it's members, hidden for decades."

Naruto raised an eyebrow; "You were using me as bait?"

Both Minato and Kushina flinched at that. That was…actually was one way to look at the situation.

"NARUTO-KUN!" Rock Lee went slammed through the door. Within a moment Tsunade was in front of him.

"GET THE FUCK OUT!" Tsunade punched the boy with a chakra power fist, sending him flying straight through the door. 'Damn it…if it was this easy to get into the kid's apartment, why the fuck did I bother knocking for so long.'

"It doesn't actually matter though. My part of the plan was to combine Natural chakra, Demon chakra, and Light chakra together; apparently the Sage of Six Paths used that to split the Jyuubi in the first place?"

"The Jyuubi?" both Kushina and Minato asked.

"Anyway Madara's dead, and that's that…if you don't believe me, then I suggest you hunt him down", Naruto said as he got up from his seat.

"Wait, where are you going?" Kushina asked, clearly distressed.

"Do you really need to ask?", the blond replied, with a raised eyebrow. The answer to her question really seemed like a major…_duh_.

"But, I thought we could talk…"

"Listen", The blond said, looking at both Minato and Kushina, "you seem to want to form a relationship with me, which I don't _really_ mind. However, if you ACTUALLY think it's going to be anywhere resembling a Parent-Son bond, you definitely have another thing coming. And regarding Madara" he took a moment to look at all three of them, "For what it's worth, sorry to basically make the last seventeen years of your life meaningless", he said with a shrug before going to his door.

Opening it, he walked out…and forward to sinful bliss.

For her part, Tsunade just stared at him with a vague expression. "Definitely didn't turn out like I expected. She watched Kushina go into a slight sobbing fit, while Natsuko tried to comfort her. Minato just had a far off look in his eyes, not really staring at anything at all.

"NARUTO-KUN!" Hanabi screamed, going through the door. Eyes shut, head down, and obviously embarrassed, "I LOVE YOU!" Blushing beat red. Everyone in the room snapped their heads in her direction. After hearing nothing but silence, the young Hyuuga opened her eyes and looked around. She blushed when she saw four people looking at her in shock…but no Naruto. Then, in a move reminisce of her older sister, the young girl fainted.

**

* * *

A/N: This was just something I had in my head for a while. Inspiration struck from reading stories where Naruto's parents come back and he either hates them or automatically forgives them. Seems people seem to forget absolute apathy when writing stories. Please let me know what you think.**


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